A mum whose son drowned in a rip current in Bournemouth says the UK urgently needs a water safety minister “to stop this mind-blowing public health emergency” which has been killing our children.Vanessa Abbess was preparing herself for the third agonising anniversary of her 17-year-old son Joe’s death in May, when she saw that 19 people drowned in one week last month.”I thought ‘oh my God, it’s happening again’. It was déjà vu, and my heart was breaking for the families,” she told The Mirror. Her son, trainee chef Joe Abbess, 17, died after going to the beach with his friends, during their half term holidays in May 2023.Joe Abbess wearing his Southampton City College Chef whites as he began training to work in professional kitchens(Image: Vanessa Abbess)Joe with his mum Vanessa.(Image: Vanessa Abbess)The teenager was a strong swimmer, super fit and so sensible he was known affectionately as ‘the dad’ by his friendship group, for keeping everybody safe. But Joe died on the same day as a 12-year-old girl from a separate group. Eight others had to be rescued.He was waist deep in the water when he was caught by a powerful rip current, which can quickly drag people away from the shallows out to deeper water.His mum, backing our ‘Save Lives for Sam’ campaign, said: “Joe took enough sun cream for the others, he had a couple of portable chargers with him, and he booked the trains,” she explained. “He was the sensible one. He would organise everyone and they used to laugh about it saying, ‘Yeah, Dad!’ It would be their ongoing joke.”On Wednesday, May 31, 2023, Vanessa told how she gave Joe a hug as they were about to leave for the station. “They won’t hug when you’re in the car with their friends, so I hugged him as we were hurrying out the door. I’m so pleased I did because I never knew that would be the last hug I’d have.”His last words to her were: ‘Bye mum, see you later, love you lots.’ “I didn’t hear from him for a while and I thought I’d drop him a text, it was like mid-afternoon. I said; ‘ hope you’re having a lovely day. Make sure you drink enough water. It’s a hot one out there’,” she said, but didn’t get a reply.”I didn’t know until afterwards – when I saw the police timeline – that when I sent that text, at 3.42pm, he was in the sea and the rip current was starting, which is so surreal. I don’t know if it was an intuition thing, if I needed to check in on him or what. And it totally blew my mind when I actually realised this.”Joe’s mum Vanessa has been trying to spread the water safety message since losing her son in a rip currentJoe and his friends were waist-high in the sea, within the flagged safe swimming zone right next to the lifeguard station but still they were knocked for six.”It had been a sudden and ferocious rip current that came very fast out of nowhere. Joe and his friends started all being pulled in different directions. Some of them managed to swim back to the shore. One friend who was immediately next to Joe managed to float. He’s not sure how but he floated and although he had a partial drowning, he’s okay.“There were about six of them in the sea and one of the girls in the group was a pool lifeguard. Even she struggled to get to shore. The last anyone saw of Joe was he was heading towards the shore. So his friend who floated said, ‘I thought he’d be okay’. And we don’t know what happened for 32 minutes from that point on, as no one saw him, which is hard to think about. Until he was recovered on a jet-ski by the RNLI, face down in the water.”He was taken unconscious onto the beach where he went into cardiac arrest, then to Bournemouth Hospital and was later later pronounced dead, although it later emerged he died on the sand. Joe’s mum first knew something was wrong when his female friend phoned her on Joe’s phone from the sand.”I started getting calls from police and friends. I don’t know what the situation is. You know, in the middle of absolute chaos and I’m panicking, my heart’s pounding, I’m feeling sick, thinking, ‘but a minute ago my day was so normal’.”It was an A&E doctor who broke the news to the mum, asking her: ‘Have you left home yet? There’s no need to hurry because it’s too late’.“I said, ‘pardon?’ And he says, ‘there’s no need to hurry, there’s nothing more we can do for Joe. He’s passed away’. I remember it so clearly because I literally fell to my knees and sobbed. I could hear myself sobbing.”She subsequently discovered there had been other mass rescues at Bournemouth and that day another little girl had also died. Twelve-year-old Sunnah Khan from Buckinghamshire, was on the beach that day not far from Joe with her family, when she was taken by the same rip current. Sunnah’s mum Stephanie and Joe’s mum have since joined forces to spread the message.Joe Abbess was adored by his friend and known as ‘dad’ because he was so sensible. Here before his school prom.(Image: Vanessa Abbess)Joe Abbess had been to the gym the night before he died. (Image: Vanessa Abbess)Every year, Vanessa explains, the family returns to the beach in the evening on the anniversary of Joe’s death. She used to love the sound of the waves but now she says “the sound of waves sends shivers down my spine.”“Joe is loved and missed every day. He’s absent constantly. There’s always an empty chair. We started that day on the 31st of May 2023 as a family of four and ended it as a family of three,” she said, explaining how his big brother is 25 years old this year. Joe will be forever 17 years, six months and nine days old but there ought to be four years between their ages.”Of those facing the trauma of losing a child after the heatwave in May, she said: “They left home thinking it was a normal day and their child didn’t come home that night.“My heart was breaking for the parents. They’re now trying to navigate a world that you never imagine you’re going to be in. You never imagine you are going to live without your child. It’s wrong on every level to be alive without your child.“We need a water safety minister and we need drowning to be treated as the public health emergency that it is. There needs to be discussion about water safety as a whole. I know Joe would want me to do this, to warn others, that’s what he would do if he could.“Joe was a very, very caring young man. I really feel if Joe had come out the other side. He would have been saying, ‘we need to tell people about this Mum, this is really scary, we need to warn people about this’.”She said although it’s “emotionally challenging” she says it is important to share Joe’s story and since September 2023 had worked with Royal Life Saving Society UK, RNLI, HM Coastguard and her MP Darren Paffey, to raise water safety awareness.And in a message to the Government she pleads: “Stop and listen, this is not an isolated case, Joe’s story is one of many. So many young people should not be dying in the water every year. Lives could be saved with education, drowning is preventable.”
