Donald Trump remains in France, where he’s grumpily plodding through the G7 summit – but at least he gets to eat at Versailles. Cake, presumably. Here’s everything you need to know todayWorkers have tried to tame the swampy colour with bleach(Image: Anadolu via Getty Images)Donald Trump remains in France, where he’s grumpily plodding through the G7 summit – an event you get the picture he’d sooner run a half marathon than sit through again.He only seems to brighten up when he tells people he’s going for dinner at Versailles, which Emmanuel Macron has invited him to in a transparent bid to keep him from leaving the summit early like he did last year. Presumably cake will be served. Ah Versailles, a golden mirrored palace with a story that has absolutely no moral for people with ideas of kinghood and a taste for frivolous spending.Anyway, while he’s gone, JD Vance is at the wheel. And by that I mean he spent literally the whole day yesterday on television hawking his book about god.Meanwhile in TrumpworldNo Iran texts, just talking pointsVance goes on Loose Women, kind ofUFC event was target for would be ‘terrorists’The china virus is coming! Buy ammo!Cleaning the pool with bleachHere’s what you need to knowNo text, just talking pointsI have never seen Trump look so bored and miserable(Image: Ukrainian Presidential Press Office/UPI/Shutterstock)Trump reaffirmed today that he doesn’t intend to publish a text of the deal he’s struck with Iran until after it’s been signed. Which, as many have pointed out, is not a sign that the US should be proud of where the Iran war has taken them. It is a sign, however, that the White House wants to get control of the message – and that message is: “TRUMP IS GREAT. OBAMA COULD NEVER”.The “Top Five Message Points” distributed to Congressional Republicans last night claimed not that “no other President” would have demanded Iran give up all its nuclear ambitions. Which is nonsense. Obama’s White House negotiated the exact same pledge in the 2015 JCPOA agreement. The fifth message, that Obama never got a “signed document” isn’t the flex Trump thinks it is either. Iran may never have signed a piece of paper to bind themselves to JCPOA, but they broadly stuck to the principles of it until Trump withdrew the US from it in 2018.Also, what is he going to do if Iran does get a nuclear weapon, take them to court?Content cannot be displayed without consentCleaning the pool with bleachFor those following the saga of the Lincoln reflecting pool, which Trump spent $14 million painting American Flag Blue, only for it to turn swamp green after a couple of days, it only gets weirder. Today, workmen were spotted pouring gallon jugs of 12% hydrogen peroxide into the pool. Thus far it does not seem to have successfully cleared the gloop, but given Trump’s apparent fondness for solving all problems by pouring in bleach, you can see how he got there. We’ll keep you updated.Content cannot be displayed without consentMeanwhile, the oddly coloured pool has all been a bit much for some on the right. After yesterday some MAGA types were claiming the swamp green colour was a result of sabotage by the deep state, please enjoy this legit segment that appeared on Fox News yesterday.Content cannot be displayed without consentTV VanceDonald Trump is out of the country – visiting France for the G7 Summit. Which theoretically leaves Vice President JD Vance in charge. Or at least more likely to be in charge than if the President was in the country.Weird then that instead of being hard at work on governing the country through a traumatic period of financial and geopolitical turmoil, JD Vance has spent literally all day on telly hawking his new book.And when I say all day, he started with a brief appearance on Fox and Friends. In the afternoon he spent a full hour on air with The View, which is America’s equivalent of Loose Women, then in the evening he did two hour long spots on Fox News, appearing on The Five before sitting down for a second stint on “comedy” show “Gutfeld”.Let’s take some of these appearances in turn, because they all had their moments.Loose Women…sorry, The ViewThis had the most potential – with a bunch of fiery women surrounding him, surely one could land a knockout blow on the VP.Unfortunately, in my view, they blew it. While the hosts had some fine questions, and sometimes asked good follow ups, they still left Vance enough space to claim he didn’t know what they were talking about. I love Whoopi Goldberg dearly, but she fumbled her question on black history being erased from public monuments. But in the end, it was often the format and ad breaks that let Vance get away. And at the end, they gave him a onesie for his new baby.This moment was quite good though.Content cannot be displayed without consentJD plays host on the FiveThe Five is a truly will-to-live-sapping discussion programme on Fox News where their prime time hosts sit around a semi-circular table and come up with the worst possible takes on the news of the day. And yesterday, JD Vance was one of “The Five”. The Vice President of the United States spent an hour on air just…being a TV host. Look, he anchored segments. This is not normal. Imagine the uproar if that happened over here. If the leader of a British political party had a slot on a prime time oh never mind Nigel Farage does that, as you were.Anyway, here’s JD Vance, the second in line to the Oval Office, telling a dad joke.Content cannot be displayed without consentGutfeld!Of all the Fox News hosts, Greg Gutfeld is the worst. Maybe it’s the constant race baiting he injects into every episode of his show. Perhaps it’s the blatant, proud sexism and homophobia. Or maybe it’s the way he slouches on his chair like a disinterested slacker teen from the 90s, despite being fully 61 years old. Sit up straight Greg, you’re not Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club.Anyway, Vance, obviously, went on his godforsaken programme too, and this was about the level of it.Content cannot be displayed without consentUFC event was target for would be ‘terrorists’, says Kash PatelThe FBI foiled plans to target Donald Trump’s UFC White House birthday party with explosive drones and sniper fire, according to director Kash Patel. Five arrests were made, after one of the alleged conspirators was shopped by his mom. But while the criminal complaint that led to the men being charged is clear that they had the intent to commit the crimes, it’s not clear that they had the means. The plan had been to fly explosive-packed drones into an exit on the North Side of the complex, forcing fans to evacuate to the South, where they’d be picked off by sniper fire. One man allegedly involved had recently purchased some guns and ammo, which he’s legally allowed to do, but they didn’t appear to be sniper rifles. One of the men charged allegedly discussed building drones and stealing explosives in an online chat, but the legal documents don’t say whether they actually had any.For what it’s worth, Trump was asked about the arrests at the G7 and he replied: “I don’t know anything about it.”Trump administration immediately uses alleged terror plot as justification for…building Trump’s ballroomThe Justice Department wrote to judges considering whether to block construction on Trump’s vanity ballroom, saying the plot was another good reason why it was needed.The “mass and height” of the building, they argued would “shield the White House from attack”.”It will protect the President and guests at major events that are currently held in “plastic tents that can- not even protect highly esteemed guests from inclement weather, let alone high caliber bullets or kamikaze drones,” it reads.”In short, the repeated assassination attempts and plots against President Trump and those around him demonstrate the National Secu- rity imperative for a bullet proof, drone proof Ballroom to protect the President, all future Presidents, their Cabinets, staffs, families, and guests.”The china virus is coming! Buy ammo!The ladies of the View didn’t have to try as hard as they did to try and skewer JD Vance. Turns out he’d already skewered himself in a passage from his book, in which he turns prepper when he gets wind of Covid.He wrote that when he first learned about the disease that would become a global pandemic, he bought 10,000 rounds of ammo. He then went to Wal Mart and bought huge supplies of rice, ground beef and ketchup. When an elderly lady at the grocery store asked if he owned a restaurant, he said: “No, but the China Virus is coming.”It’s truly one of the most cringe things I’ve ever read.Content cannot be displayed without consent
